Incompetent

Life gets hard. I’m one of those people that have all these grand ideas to do something, and then I hit this speed bump. Or a brick wall.

I feel incompetent.

When I was in high school, and I was applying to schools. I wanted to apply to USC. But I felt really incompetent. Something about needing a portfolio of some sort in order to enter their film school scared me to death. Besides not having one, I felt like I would never be good enough to even apply there. I didn’t even know how I would pay for it if I ended up going there. But none the less, I kept chasing my dreams of doing something with film. Then even in college, I had to deal with the fact that I wasn’t really learning to do what I wanted to do. So I went about teaching myself, but then I felt like I wasn’t where I wanted to be. Then once I was out of college I am still dealing with the feelings like I won’t ever be good enough to be successful. I’ll be mediocre somewhere doing what everybody else does just working in order to survive instead of living out a dream.

If you’ve ever felt like that, you know that it can be a vicious cycle of never ending doubt.

Then there were some very humbling people in the Bible. First comes Moses. God chose Moses to be the one who will lead Israel out from captivity in Egypt.

Say therefore to the people of Israel, ‘I am the Lord, and I will bring you out from under the burdens of the Egyptians, and I will deliver you from slavery to them, and I will redeem you with an outstretched arm and with great acts of judgement. Exodus 6:6

But Moses later on doubts God.

But Moses said to the Lord, “Behold, I am of uncircumcised lips. How will Pharaoh listen to me?”Exodus 6:30

Moses was not only doubting himself because of his speech impediments, but was doubting God’s ability to use Him for His will. I realize that my sin in this situation is that I would be doubting myself as well as God. God promises to watch over us and take care of us if we follow His will. He will guide us and make us prosper in all things.

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

He has plans for our welfare and a future, with a hope. Of course the chief end of His promise is in heaven, but he also is talking about his plans to give us life on this earth. A purpose, a means, and an end. So with God promising to take care of me, how could I ever doubt Him. Well I do. There are many times when I ask God what he is waiting for. Why I am not where I want to be. There are times when I ask God why I have this desire to do things but I have not the talent. But how often does this kind of doubt turn into laziness. If we are not careful, we can start blaming God for our laziness. It might start something like this.

Man, I don’t feel like I can do anything that I want to do. God can you help me please. God, it still isn’t working. I’m waiting here for you but it’s not working! God, I’m STILL stuck where I am. Won’t you do this for me?!

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits will have plenty of poverty.Proverbs 28:19

So God tells us that he has plans for us. But we also must be working the land. We must not be lazy. God has plans for us, but those plans include us working in faith. God can plan for us all we want, but he requires us to put in effort and nothing else. All He ever asks from us is effort. He does not care about where we end up in life, but if we work hard, he will bless it. So my incompetence and slowly turned into laziness. This laziness only adds weight to my incompetence for I never get closer to my goal by being lazy.

They say that one lie will inevitably lead to another lie to cover up the first lie. And from there, one will constantly be lying until he can confess the truth.

Then thinking that you are incompetent will lead to laziness that further drives incompetence and will further drive laziness and which will end up in the lack of effort in chasing that passion. We then blame God for not following through with His promises. But God is not to blame, he planned everything out for us, he made doors open and gave us the talents to do things. But we did not take that challenge and put our effort in it. We are not entitled to anything from God. God is greater than us, anything He offers to us must be paid with a price. Just as such, God is entitled to us and can ask of us anything without giving anything back. But He does indeed give us something back. He gives us life, a promise for the future, heaven. Eternal rest.

Now back to Moses, imagine if he felt like he couldn’t convince Pharaoh. Even after God’s promises, God would never have used Moses to bring Israel out. Moses though he was unsure of Himself, went to Pharaoh every time God told him to and said exactly what God said. God did exactly as he said he would because Moses had enough faith in God to trust that God would take care of it. And God did! Even when Israel started complaining to Moses about how the Egyptians would kill them in the wilderness, and as Moses turned to God to ask why they were being pursued, God showed them a way, he provided a means to survive. God never changed course because we doubted. God will do all he has to do for our sake, now it’s up to us to follow Him.

If you are facing self doubt and feelings of incompetence, I urge you to take a look at God’s promises throughout all of the Bible. The people he chose to use were not the most qualified, nor were they even the greatest people at first. The disciples were all uneducated people who had no religious teachings. They were all people who turned away from Jesus when he was being delivered to the Jews. Paul was a Christian killer. But all these people God used because they turned and followed God. So in whatever you are doing, if you are pursuing not your own fulfillment but the fulfillment of God’s will and you trust God to take care of it. All you have left to do is try harder and trust in God to do the rest.

Grace and peace,

Chrissant

Trust

It’s crazy how easy it is to forget one of the most simple and important things about our faith in Christ: our ability to place our trust in Him in all things. Sounds easy enough, but sometimes, I’ll be the first to admit that I easily forget it when I’m placed in uncertainty.

I feel like I’ve told so many people this analogy of how I’m feeling, and I wonder if you’ve felt it before too? At this stage in my life, at times I feel like I’m out in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight and with no sense of direction as to where land actually is. From the outside looking in, it looks pretty peaceful. I mean when we think of the ocean in a general sense, it seems so relaxing. So calming (or maybe you see the storms right away). But to me, I feel like I’m completely lost and at times I panic.

There are so many different things I want to do in my life, aspirations that I would love to do in the near or far future, but I don’t know when I can do it or how to do each one of them because of the means that I currently have. I don’t know how or where to get started or if it’s feasible or if it makes any sense. I feel like there are so many options, so many different ways I can go, but I have no idea which direction to go in to get to land–I don’t know which direction God is calling me towards. I feel like there are so many options but no opportunities yet–I have no glimpse of where the land is… and I can’t even phone a friend. Because of this panic, at times I find myself overwhelmed and just sitting with nothing and everything going on in my mind. And every time the question “So what are you doing now that you’ve graduated?” is asked, I literally takes me to this state of confusion every time it’s asked.

So to my fellow job seekers, “soul-searchers”, trying-to-figure-out-what-you’re-doing-with-you-life companions out there, this is for you. This is what God has been teaching me to do. This is what I’m at and what I’m working on: TRUST.

When God gives you three different reminders of how you can and should trust in Him, I’d say that’s God preparing you or telling you something. It’s crazy how God has used three different settings to really unfold this for me, and remind it to me at this time. I just wanted to share three points with you that I learned in three different ways concerning trusting in God.

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1. God places desires in our heart for a reason, and directs us in our works towards them. 

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37:4

I met with my college pastor’s wife, Jill, this past Friday, and she gave me insight that really stuck in my mind and reminded me of this verse. I shared with her how I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, and as I shared with her my dilema–my post-college-life crisis, she reminded me that these are desires that God has placed on my heart for a reason, and that He’s given me these talents for a reason. She also reminded me that if God placed these desires in my heart and gave me these talents, He will be faithful to really lead me with these desires and provide opportunities for me to grow them and produce fruit in them. She reminded me that I just needed to chose a path and follow God in it, and He will lead me in my way.

Her conversation with me also reminded me of Proverbs 16:9:

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.”

We need to take steps and  prayerfully and actively move in one direction in order for us to understand how the Lord is moving us and where He is directing us. I’ve been learning this through 1 Samuel, too. God works through our works and walks in Him! Even if it’s the “wrong path,” He will reveal and redirect you. We need to take steps and trust Him through it.

2. If God has started  a work in your life, He is more than able to complete it.

At church yesterday, our speaker spoke on Philippians 1:1-11, and focused on three main points: 1. Is there evidence in your life that God is working in you? 2. If God has started a work in you, He is able to complete it and 3. Prayer. This was an equally timely reminder in my life to trust in God.

He shared with us a story about how God called this group of people to Brazil and it’s been over a year and they are still struggling with seeing fruit in their ministry in the midst of all the evil in the city. He recently visited and saw how it was discouraging to some of them to be there, because they thought they were supposed to be there. He then related it to Mark 4:35-40:

“That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?””

God really reminded me that if He has gotten me to where I am, and has brought me this far, what makes me think that He will just leave me? Why am I so anxious, when I should trust that just as He has brought me to this point in my life, He will continue to move me and lead me until the day of Jesus Christ (Philippians 1:6)?

Part of this reason, our pastor reminded us, was that we have a tendency to attribute human’s tendency to leave things unfinished or incomplete to God, which we should never do. God is faithful to complete the work He has started. I need to trust in that Truth, and find comfort and peace in that. I need to remember that God is fully able and capable and that He is faithful.

3. It is better to trust in God than anything else.

As I’ve been going through 1 Samuel, I’ve been learning a lot from his mistakes. In 1 Samuel 27, David fears for his life and looses his trust and faith in God. He decides to take matters in his own hands and joins sides with the Philistines. When reading this, I was like “Why David!? Why!?” But how many times do we do this, too? Maybe in a smaller sense, but when we worry and fret about things, we are in a sense also loosening our trust in God. I’ve realized that this worry and fret may be because we are relying too much on our own power and ability than in His.

This being said, through my devos in the past few days, God has shown me how awful it is to lose trust in Him, but then reminded me of how sweet it is to truly trust in Him. When David realigns his heart with God’s, and turns back to the Lord and trusts in Him, we see a shift in how his life goes. God, who was working in David even when he was lacking in trust, sets up all of His plans for David to be king. He grows David through this time and also blesses him when he trusts in God’s providence.

God’s been reminding me and teaching me through my quiet times with Him how much better it is to trust in God than in our own abilities and to find comfort in our ability to trust in Him.

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I realize that these three points kind of mesh into each other, but I guess that’s the point. Through wise council, church, and personal devotional times with God, He has definitely been pressing this into me. It blows my mind that God is really reinforcing this message of trusting in Him to me at this time–and how much I really do need it as I’m swimming in this ocean.

I need to remember that although there’s a huge ocean with no land to be seen, and storms a brewing, and so many directions I could possibly go, for certain a plan for me–an end destination, ultimately in heaven with God–but even a plan for me on this earth to do His will and glorify His name wherever He leads me. I need to remember that I’m not alone on my swim, but that God is right along with me, and that like my GPS, He will redirect me to where I need to be.

This great reminder and how God is truly reminding me of trusting in Him also reminds me of how the God we serve is a living God, who knows us and works in us, and hears us–which ultimately just reminds me of how much I should trust in Him!! Furthermore, it also reminds me that in order to have this trust in Him, I must seek Him first.

Ahh! God is so good! I hope you are somehow encouraged by this as I was while going through all of this! I’ll leave you with this last scripture that is commonly known, but such a good reminder. It not only gives us comfort in knowing that God has a plan for us and that we can trust Him in it.

“”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.””

Jeremiah 29:11-13

Blessings to you who are in the same “rut” that I’m in–job searching and trying to figure out what you’re doing with your life. I’ve been told that we’ll constantly face times in which we are still “trying to figure things out.” But let us cling to the Lord and really work on our trust in Him–He is living, able, and working in our lives daily! :)

Happy Monday!

Grace & Peace,

Margarette

Whom Shall I Fear?

I made this in light of the song “Whom Shall I Fear” by Chris Tomlin. Have you heard it yet? I inserted it at the bottom for you to listen to it if not! It’s such an incredible reminder and encouragement for anyone who is feeling that maybe they are defeated or struggling with something they can’t handle or deal with. I was going to pair this photo with Proverbs 16:9, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps,” but I couldn’t get these lyrics out of my head.

I heard this song on the radio this afternoon for the first time while I was listening to Air1 on my way to an appointment. As a recent college graduate, life’s been tough (get a helmet, right?). Like many of you might know, coming out of college and going “out into the real world” is a bit intimidating, and to be honest it’s been a bit of a struggle emotionally. Not being able to find a job, and as it happens to be for me, feeling like you have no near future goals or direction, is really tough. I feel like I know where God is calling me in the future, but as far as reaching that future and for the means of doing something now has drawn a complete blank in my mind. I’ve been struggling on and off with feeling discouraged from time to time not having “much to do” apart from spending awesome quality time with God and my family.

Sometimes I feel like this discouragement can lead to disablement, or feeling a sense of defeat.

Similarly, at times we feel like perhaps we are living with a sin that we are continually struggling with and can’t defeat, or we’re constantly being attacked verbally (or physically) by someone or something in our lives and we have no help, or there is no way to stop them/it.

This song is a reminder to us that God is by our side. I can’t explain it better than the Word, so I just wanted to share a few of my favorite encouraging verses for those of you who might be feeling discouraged or feel defeated by the world!

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” –Romans 8:37-38

“”I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”” – John 16:33

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” – John 14:27

“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?” – Romans 8:31

“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?The Lord is with me; he is my helper.I look in triumph on my enemies.” – Psalm 118:6-7

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” – Romans 8:28

“”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”” – Jeremiah 29:11-13

“”Don’t be afraid,” the prophet answered. “Those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” – 2 Kings 6:16-17

The last verse is what came to mind immediately when I heard this song. It gives me the chills (in a good way) to think that first, God created us all so so specially with a plan and a purpose, and that He gave us His Son out of mercy and grace that we might come before Him, and gave us the Holy Spirit to dwell in us and help us here on earth, and that even more, His angels are fighting for us as we are in this world with spiritual battle going on all around us. God loves us so much and He is always with us.

Don’t let the things of this world discourage you or make you feel defeated. The enemy is constantly filling us with these lies to make us feel disabled and unable to do the will of God. Keep your eyes on the Lord and focus on the Truth, friends! :)

Here’s the song if you haven’t heard it yet!

Happy Sunday!

Grace & Peace,
Margarette

Time, Wisdom, and Work

Last week was somewhat stressful because my plans were yet again challenged by God. Haha, I always thought I was going into speech therapy; but recently, that desire has really…urm…died down. Instead I’ve really been leaning towards the wedding design/planning field. And as of now, I think this is where God is really leading me (but I am going to finish up my post-bacc program!) Anyhow, I thought I’d just share some verses about using your time wisely…because our days our very short, even though they seem pretty darn long right now (haha). As I was reading through these verses, I got reminded that we need to be productive and diligent workers…not for ourselves; but so that we can glorify God through the work that we do. Here are the verses I went through:

“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Eph 5:15-17)

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 90:12)

“For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” (Luke 14:28)

“But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

“O Lord, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; let me know how fleeting I am! Behold, you have made my days a few handbreadths, and my lifetime is as nothing before you. Surely all mankind stands as a mere breath! Selah.” (Psalm 39:4-5)

“I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgement.” (Romans 12:3)

As I’ve been trying to take some proactive steps to get my foot into the wedding design/planning area…I REALLY want to remember to remain humble and not get so caught up in my abilities. I want to remember to have a SOBER mind; remembering that I am just a person whose days are short, and that I need an all-powerful God to support me and guide me through it all. I forgot where I read this…I think it was a Chuck Smith commentary…but he said something like this:

Once our work becomes self-glorifying, our work becomes ineffective for the Kingdom of God.

I was like O.O So yes, lets be mindful of how we spend our time…lets not keep busy, but be productive. Let’s be humble and sober-minded. Let’s glorify God! :)

Your sister,

Hannah

Riches Stored Up In Heaven.

What you are looking at is a replica similar to one of the very first compact recording devices in history! And guess what? It was created for Joy Ridderhof, a Christian missionary in Honduras! It was created to spread God’s gospel! Isn’t that so amazing!? I’m sure maybe some of you are like, okay, so what, Margarette? Just keep reading.

If that’s not amazing to you, take a look at this picture:

Joy Ridderhof is the founder of Global Recordings Network, an amazing nonprofit organization that creates recordings of the Gospel and the Bible in different languages from all across the world! This is just a glimpse of all the files GRN has of each language it has translated the Gospel into.

Let’s take a step back and see how many this really is…

This is where God really blew my mind. They have translated and distributed the Gospel in over 6,000 languages. When I saw this, my heart stopped and my jaw dropped. God provided for His gospel to be translated this much! And it’s still growing. I was just so filled with awe and just wonder at how God has been doing work in this organization!

Today, I went job hunting with a friend who lives near me, a fellow grace&peace always blogger, Chris. In the midst of trying to figure out what we’re even looking for, we decided to look into nonprofit organizations in our area. As we stopped into Starbucks to look on our phones for job opportunities with them, we came across Global Recordings Network. And in an advent to see what it was really about, we ended up driving down the street to their building.

There we got to meet Irene, a lovely godly woman who “happened” to come in at the same time that we did, and she gave us a tour (happened is in quotes because truly, it was all God). As we stepped in, and got taken around, I was immediately just captivated by how God was truly working and moving in what she was sharing with us.

This is a map of all the areas they have locations in. Oh how I wish I had taken my real camera in! You can’t really see all the light markers, but it’s really grown globally! And again, it started with a vision God gave Joy as she worked in Honduras and was faced with a situation where she didn’t think she could go back into the missionary field. SO AMAZING. God has truly been working through these brothers and sisters in Christ who are really obeying His great commission.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

Matthew 28:18-20

It was so humbling and encouraging to see how God is working in so many different ways that I’m not aware of to proclaim His glory. (Well of course Margarette, right?) It was crazy to see how He led us there and gave us this opportunity to see His work, and even gave us volunteer opportunities to see Him at work in this organization first hand.

So why is this here in this blog? 

1. For one, this is definitely an organization to pray for. There are so many brothers and sisters out there in the world helping to make these recordings and spread God’s word!! And they need our prayers! Pray for the missionaries! Also pray for the people! A big and important part of spreading the gospel is found in prayer, and asking for God to work in their hearts!
2. This really challenged me to evaluate how I am working in furthering God’s kingdom and sharing the Gospel. To be honest, I know that I am lacking. Challenge yourself with this question, too! We have been called to this Great Commission, too! We don’t need to travel the world to do it, we can do it wherever God has placed us, too!
3. It really opened up my eyes to God’s work all around the world. It was such a huge encouragement to see Him moving and working all around me! It reminded me that, obviously, God’s work isn’t only in me, and those I know and talk to, but He is working and he’s active in places and in people I haven’t even heard of. That in perspective really reminds me of how big and how great God is.

Something that really humbled me by this visit was something that one of the staff members we had the pleasure of meeting shared with us. He told us that working within this organization are several capable, talented, and blessed individuals who could very well be making a “good living” working in larger companies, making the “big bucks.” But several of them dedicated their lives to this cause and have worked there for over 30 years. They chose to glorify God in this way, instead of looking for something that was more financially stable. When someone joked that they weren’t “rich,” he laughed, and stated something that was a huge reminder to me: Our riches are stored up in heaven. 

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.”

Matthew 6:19-20

It’s cool to see that while I was job hunting, God really reminded me of this. It was like He was telling me, “Margarette, I know you’re looking for a job to help you financially save up for the future and other things to come, but remember not to get caught up in the money aspects. Don’t make that your goal and aim in life, as you are told to by the media and the world around you. Focus on your mission here on earth to spread the Gospel and be a light  to the World wherever you are. Real riches that will benefit you in eternity is not found in anything here on earth. Serve Me in all you do. I will provide you with what you need.”

So here I am blogging with you what God has crazily mind-blown me with today.

I just encourage you all to really meditate and pray on Matthew 6:19-20 and evaluate your hearts in what you “treasure” in life. Sometimes we need redirection or refocus in areas of our lives that maybe we haven’t given back to the Lord. Sometimes this requires us to reconsider where our hearts are in our work life–or our search-for-work-life too.

I also just challenge you to think about Matthew 28:18-20 and see how you are being a light to the world and spreading the love of Christ.

Lastly, pray, pray, pray! Pray for Global Recordings Network and their ministry for God! :)

Happy Wednesday!!

Grace & Peace,
Margarette

P.S. To learn more about Global Recordings Network and how you can help pray for them or see volunteer opportunities, visit their website at http://www.globalrecordings.net/en/. :)